2 Samuel.
10.
Bumbye, Nahash, da king fo da Ammon peopo, mahke, an his boy Hanun come da nex king. 
David tink, “I goin stay tight wit Nahash boy Hanun, jalike his faddah wen stay tight wit me.” So David sen messenja guys fo give aloha an tell dat he stay sorry dat Nahash wen mahke. Wen David guys come inside da Ammon land, 
da Ammon alii guys tell dea boss Hanun, “You tink az fo real, dat David show respeck fo yoa faddah wen he sen dese messenja guys by you, jus fo tell dat he stay sorry?! No way! Fo shua, he sen um by you fo dem check out oua main town! Dey spies! An dey like find out oua secret stuff!” 
Az why Hanun dem grab David guys, shave off half a dea beard, cut off dea robes in da middo fo see dea okole, an throw um outa da town. 
Somebody tell David wat wen happen. So he sen messenja guys fo meet his guys cuz dey get plenny shame. Da king tell da messenja guys fo tell his guys, “Stay Jericho town till yoa beards grow an den come back.” 
Da Ammon peopo know dat dey wen make pilau kine to David. So dey pay da Aram king guys Syria side fo sen um army guys: da king guys from Bet-Rehob an Zobah sen um 20,000 infantry guys. From da king fo Maakah, dey get 1,000 army guys. An from Tob dey get 12,000 army guys. 
Wen David find out bout dat, he sen Joab wit all da army guys fo fight um. 
Da Ammon guys come outa dea big town Rabbah. Dey line up ready fo fight by da gate fo dea town. Da Aram guys from Zobah an Rehob, an from Tob an Maakah, dey stay wit ony dem in da country side. 
Joab see da army guys all line up fo fight him from da front an da back, same time. So he pick some a da bestes Israel army guys, an line um up fo go attack da Aram guys. 
He put da odda army guys unda his braddah Abishai, an line um up fo attack da Ammon guys. 
Joab tell, “If da Aram guys stay too strong fo me, den you come fo help me. But if da Ammon guys stay too strong fo you, den I goin come help you. 
Good we come strong! Good we use oua powa fo help oua peopo, an fo keep da towns oua God wen give us! Da One In Charge goin do wateva stay good, da way he see um.” 
Wen Joab an his army guys attack da Aram guys, da Aram guys run away from dem. 
Wen da Ammon guys see dat da Aram guys stay run away, dey run away too in front Abishai dem, an go back inside Rabbah town. Den Joab come back from fight da Ammon guys an go Jerusalem side. 
Afta da Aram guys see dat da Israel guys wen win ova dem, dey all come togedda fo make one big army. 
King Hadadezer tell his guys fo bring odda Aram army guys from da odda side a da Eufrates Riva. Dey go Helam town. Shobak, da general fo Hadadezer army, lead dem. 
Somebody tell David wat dey do. So he bring togedda all da Israel guys, an go da odda side a da Jordan Riva an come Helam town. Da Aram guys line up dea guys fo fight David dem. Den da Aram guys attack da Israel guys. 
But da Aram guys run away in front da Israel guys. David dem kill da guys dat ride 700 a dea war wagons, an 40,000 a dea horse rida guys. An he wack General Shobak. So Shobak mahke ova dea. 
Wen all da kings dat stay unda King Hadadezer see dat da Israel guys win ova dem, dey make one deal wit da Israel army fo no fight no moa, an dey stay unda Israel. So da Aram guys stay sked fo help da Ammon guys afta dat. 
