1 Kings.
1.
King David, he come real ol. He stay cold all da time, no can come warm, no matta get plenny blanket on top him. 
Az why da palace guys tell um, “Eh King, you oua boss! Us guys figga, if us guys go look fo one young wahine dat neva sleep wit one guy, she can stay wit you an help you. Wen you come cold, she lie down wit you fo you come warm.” 
Da King figga dass good too. So dey wen go look all ova da Israel land fo one good looking wahine. Dey find Abishag from Shunam an bring her to da King. 
Da girl was one real good looking wahine. She stay wit da king an help him. But da king neva make sex wit her. 
Dat time, King David boy Adonijah (Haggit his muddah) go aroun ack big fo come King. He talk: “I goin come King!” Az why he go get war wagons an army guys dat ride horse. He get fifty guys fo run in front him wen he come inside one street, so erybody know Adonijah stay come. 
From small kid time, weneva Adonijah do bad kine stuff, dat no bodda King David. King David neva aks “How come you stay do dat?!” Cuz David neva like make his boy feel bad. Adonijah one real good looking guy too. He da nex boy dat was born afta Absalom. 
Adonijah wen go talk wit General Joab (Zeruiah boy) an Abiatar da pries guy, an dey tell dey goin help him fo come King. 
But Zadok da pries guy, an Colonel Benaiah (Jehoiada boy), an Nathan da guy dat stay talk fo God, an Shimei, an Rei, an da military leada guys dat was King David army guys, dey neva help Adonijah. 
Adonijah go make plenny sacrifice, wit sheeps an bulls an da kine cows peopo wen feed plenny fo make um come fat. He do dat right outside Jerusalem, by da big stone dey call Zohelet nea da En-Rogel puka fo watta. He tell all his braddah guys, King David boys, fo come, an all da guys from da Judah ohana dat stay work fo da King. 
But he neva tell Nathan da guy dat talk fo God, o Colonel Benaiah, o da odda army guys, fo come. An he neva tell his braddah Solomon fo come. 
Den Nathan go tell Batsheba, Solomon muddah, “You neva hear dis, o wat?! Adonijah, da one dat Haggit wen born fo David, he come King awready. An oua boss David, he donno yet wass happening! 
So now, lissen! I goin tell you wat you gotta do. Cuz if you no do notting, you an yoa boy Solomon goin mahke. 
Hurry up an go inside! Talk to King David now! Tell him: ‘You da King, an you da boss fo me, an I jalike yoa slave wahine. But you wen make one strong promise to me befo time, you know. You wen tell me, “Yoa boy Solomon goin come da nex king afta me. He goin sit on top my throne.” Dass wat you wen tell me. So, how come Adonijah stay da king now?!’ 
Befo you pau talk to da King, I goin come inside too, an I goin tell da same ting jalike you.” 
Batsheba go by da King, inside da room wea he sleep. Da King, he real ol, an Abishag da Shunam girl stay dea take kea him. 
Batsheba go down on top da groun fo show respeck fo da King. Da King tell, “Wat you like?” 
Batsheba tell da King, “Eh, you da boss fo me! You wen make one strong promise to me, an you wen aks yoa God, Da One In Charge, fo make shua you do wat you wen promise fo do. Dis wat you wen tell me dat time: ‘Yoa boy Solomon, he da one dat goin come da King afta I mahke. Goin be him dat stay sit on top my throne.’ 
But you know wat?! I wen jus hear, Adonijah come King awready, an no matta you da real King, you donno dat! 
He wen kill plenny bulls, an cows peopo wen feed plenny fo make um come fat, an sheeps fo make one sacrifice. He wen tell all da King boys, an Abiatar da pries guy, an Joab da general fo da army, fo come by him. Ony yoa boy Solomon, Adonijah neva tell him fo come. 
But you my boss, da King. Az why you da one dat all da Israel peopo stay watch. You gotta tell erybody, who da one goin sit on top yoa throne afta you mahke. 
If you no tell da peopo notting, den afta you, my boss da king, mahke an go by yoa ancesta guys, erybody goin go afta me an my boy Solomon, an make jalike us bad guys.” 
Right den an dea, wen Batsheba stay talk wit da King, Nathan da guy dat talk fo God come inside dea. 
Da palace guys tell da King, “Look! Nathan, da guy dat talk fo God, stay hea.” Nathan come in front da King, an go down an put his face on top da groun fo show um respeck. 
Nathan tell da king, “Eh, my boss da King! Az true, o wat, dat you wen tell, ‘Adonijah goin be da king afta me, an he goin sit on top my throne’?! 
Cuz today, Adonijah wen make one sacrifice wit plenny bulls, an cows dat peopo make um fat, an sheeps too. He wen tell all da King boys, an General Joab dat stay in charge a da army, an Abiatar da pries guy, fo come by him. An you know wat? Right now, dey stay dea in front him, an dey eating an drinking plenny. Dey tell, ‘Us like King Adonijah live long time!’ 
But Adonijah neva tell me fo go by him, cuz I work fo you. He neva tell Zadok da pries guy, an Colonel Benaiah Jehoiada boy fo come. An he neva tell Solomon, da guy dat work fo you, fo come by him too. 
You da boss fo me, an you da King. Az true, o wat, dat you wen do all dis? How come you neva let us guys dat stay work fo you know who goin be da one fo sit on top yoa throne an be da King afta you mahke?” 
King David tell Nathan, “Tell Batsheba fo come inside hea.” Den Nathan tell Batsheba fo come, an she come stan dea in front da King. 
King David make one strong promise to her. He tell, “Da promise I wen make to you, you can trus um fo shua. Jalike fo shua Da One In Charge stay alive, an erytime I get big trouble, he da one fix up eryting fo me. An jalike I stay shua bout dat, 
I make dis strong promise fo you one mo time, jalike I wen make um to you befo time in front Da One In Charge, da God fo da Israel peopo. I wen tell you dat time: ‘Yoa boy Solomon, he goin come da nex king afta me. He goin be da one dat sit on top my throne, an not me.’ Dass da promise I wen make dat time, an now today, I goin do wat I wen promise fo do.” 
Batsheba go down an put her face on top da groun fo show respeck fo da King. Den she tell, “King David, you my boss! I like you live foeva!” 
King David tell his guys, “Go tell Zadok da pries guy, an Nathan da guy dat talk fo God, an Colonel Benaiah Jehoiada boy, fo come hea.” Wen dey come in front da King, 
da king tell um, “I da boss fo you guys, an I like you guys do dis: Go get all da odda guys dat work fo me. Den put my boy Solomon on top my spesho mule, an make parade fo take him down dea outside Jerusalem, by da Gihon watta place. 
Wen he come dea, I like fo Zadok da pries guy an Nathan da guy dat talk fo God, put olive oil on top his head fo show he goin be da King fo da Israel peopo. Den, tell my guys fo blow da trumpets, an tell erybody fo tell dis, ‘Us like King Solomon live long time!’ 
Den tell Solomon fo go up to da palace, an all you guys go wit him. Den he goin go inside da palace an sit down on top my throne. He goin come da King afta me, cuz I wen tell erybody, he da one goin stay in charge a da Israel peopo an da Judah ohana!” 
Benaiah (Jehoiada boy) tell da King, “Right on! I like fo Da One In Charge make all dat happen. Him da God dat my boss da King stay pray to! 
Jalike Da One In Charge stay tight wit you, I like Da One In Charge stay tight with Solomon, an make dis country even mo awesome den stay now, wen you stay da King.” 
So Zadok da pries guy, an Nathan da guy dat talk fo God, an Colonel Benaiah Jehoiada boy, an da guard guys from da Keret an Pelet peopos, dey all go outa da palace. Dey go fo put Solomon on top da mule dat stay spesho fo King David, an dey take Solomon down to da Gihon watta place. 
Wen dey get dea, Zadok da pries guy take one horn bottle dat get olive oil inside, dat he wen get from da Tent Fo No Foget Da Deal Wit God, an he put da oil on top Solomon head. Den da peopo start fo blow trumpets, an erybody yell, “We like King Solomon live long time!” 
Den Solomon go up to da palace, an all da peopo go wit him, playing flute an telling erybody dey stay plenny good inside. Dey make big noise, da groun shake! 
Adonijah an all da peopo dat stay make party wit him, almos pau eat, an dey hea da noise. General Joab, he hear da trumpet noise, an he tell, “Eh! How come erybody inside dis town stay make big noise an yelling?!” 
Befo Joab pau tell dat, Jonathan come dea. (His faddah, Abiatar da pries.) Adonijah tell um, “Go come inside! You one importan guy, an fo shua you get good stuff fo tell.” 
Jonathan tell Adonijah, “No, not good stuff! Oua boss King David make Solomon da King awready, not you.” 
Da King sen Zadok da pries guy, an Nathan da guy dat talk fo God, an Colonel Benaiah Jehoiada boy, an da guard guys from da Keret an Pelet peopos. Dey put Solomon on top da mule dat stay spesho fo da King. 
Zadok da pries guy, an Nathan da guy dat talk fo God, dey wen go da Gihon watta place. Ova dea dey put da spesho olive oil on top Solomon head fo show he da one dat come King. Den dey go from dea up to da palace, an dey all stay good inside. Erybody in dis town stay amp out! Dass da noise you hear. 
So now, Solomon stay sit on top da throne, an he da King. 
An you know wat?! Da guys dat stay work fo oua boss King David, dey all go by King David an tell um, “We like fo God make Solomon get even mo big name den you! We like God make dis country even mo awesome den stay now, wen you come da King!” King David, he stay sit down on top da bed, an he bend ova fo show God love an respeck. 
Den he pray to God lidis: “I like tell good tings bout you, cuz you Da One In Charge, da God fo da Israel peopo. Today, you wen let one a my boys take ova da throne from me, an you wen let me see all dat happen!” 
Den, all da peopo dat was making party wit Adonijah stay shake cuz dey sked. Den dey all stan up an go home. 
Adonijah, he sked a Solomon too. He go by da big altar an grab da tings jalike horns dat stick out, fo nobody kill him. 
Somebody tell Solomon, “Adonijah, he sked a you, King Solomon. An you know wat? Adonijah stay put his hands on top da horns dat stay stick outa da big altar, an he tell, ‘I like fo King Solomon make one strong promise to me, dat he no goin tell nobody fo kill me wit one sword. I goin be his worka guy!’” 
Solomon tell, “Go tell Adonijah, ‘If you come one guy I can trus, I no goin do notting fo make even one hair from yoa head fall on top da groun cuz a me. But if I hear anyting bad bout you, you goin mahke.’” 
Den King Solomon sen one guy fo go get Adonijah down from da altar an bring um to da palace. Adonijah come, an he go down in front King Solomon fo show him respeck. Solomon tell um, “Go home.” 
