2 Samuel.
11.
Da nex spring time, wen time fo kings go an fight wars, dis wat wen happen. King David sen Joab out wit da king officer guys, an all da Israel army guys. Dey wipe out plenny mo Ammon guys, an go afta dea main town Rabbah. But David, he stay inside Jerusalem. 
One time wen almos dark, David get up from his bed, an walk aroun on top da flat roof a da palace. From up dea, he see one wahine bafing. She real good looking! (She jus pau her period, an she bafe fo her go back in front God one mo time.) David sen one guy fo find out mo bout her. Da guy tell, “Fo shua, az Batsheba. Her faddah, Eliam, an her husban, Uriah da guy from da Het peopo.” Den David sen messenja guys fo bring her. She come by him, an he wen fool aroun wit her. Den she go home. 
Da wahine come hapai. Wen she find out, she sen one message fo tell David, “I stay hapai.” 
So David sen somebody fo tell Joab, “Sen me Uriah da Het guy.” So Joab sen him by David. 
Wen Uriah come by David, David aks him if eryting stay good fo Joab an da army guys, an if eryting stay good bout how da war stay. 
Den David tell Uriah, “Go home. Wash yoa feets dea.” Wen Uriah leave da palace, David sen food from his table fo Uriah. 
But Uriah sleep nea da door fo da palace wit all da king worka guys. He neva go home. 
Wen da worka guys tell David dat Uriah neva go home, David aks Uriah, “You jus wen come from far, aah? How come you no go home?” 
Uriah tell David, “Da Box Fo No Foget Da Deal, an da Israel an Judah army guys, dey all stay Sukkot Valley. An my boss Joab, an yoa main army guys, dey all make camp on top da fields wea dey goin fight. Az why fo me, how I can go home fo eat an drink an sleep wit my wife?! Jalike I stay shua you alive, same ting I stay shua I no goin make lidat!” 
David tell um, “Stay ova hea one mo day, an tomorra I goin sen you back.” So Uriah stay Jerusalem all dat day, till da nex day. 
David tell him fo come eat an drink wit him, an he make Uriah come piloot. But wen litto mo ready fo come dark, Uriah go out fo sleep in da palace sleeping room wit his boss worka guys. He still neva go home. 
Morning time, David write one letta fo Joab, an tell Uriah fo carry um back. 
Inside da letta, dis wat David tell Joab, “Put Uriah in front wea da guys stay fight hard. Den pull back an leave him dea fo da Ammon guys wack him an he mahke.” 
Joab stay watch Rabbah town all da time, so he know da place wea da Rabbah guys fight da mos hard. He put Uriah dea. 
Wen da guys from da town come outside fo fight Joab dem, some a da guys from David army mahke. An Uriah da Het guy, he mahke too. 
Joab make one report on eryting dat wen happen wen dey fight, an sen one guy fo tell David. 
He tell da messenja guy, “Wen you pau tell da king bout all da fighting, 
maybe he goin come real huhu, an aks you, ‘How come you guys go so nea da town fo fight?! You guys donno dey goin shoot arrow from on top da wall, o wat?! 
Long time befo time, Tebez town, who wen kill Abimelek, Jerub-Beshet boy, aah? Was one wahine! She throw down one big stone from da mill on top him from da town wall, so he mahke dea, aah? So, how come you guys go real nea da town wall lidat, aah?!’ “If he talk to you lidat, tell him, ‘Oh, an get anodda ting. Yoa worka guy Uriah da Het guy, he mahke too.’” 
Da messenja guy go, an wen he come by David, da guy tell David eryting Joab wen tell him fo tell. 
He tell David, “Dea guys wen fight mo strong den us guys. Dey come out agains us fo fight inside da field outside Rabbah town. But us guys push um back to da town gate. 
Den da guys dat shoot arrows, shoot um at us, yoa guys, from on top da wall. An some a yoa worka guys mahke. An yoa worka guy Uriah da Het guy, he mahke too.” 
David tell da messenja guy, “Tell Joab dis: ‘No let dat bodda you. Cuz wen get war, nobody know who goin mahke! Go fight plenny, an take ova Rabbah town, an bus up da place!’ Tell Joab dat fo make um feel mo strong.” 
Wen Uriah wife hear dat her husban mahke, she cry plenny cuz a Uriah. 
Afta da time fo cry fo Uriah pau, David tell his guys fo bring her to his palace, an she come his wife. She born one boy fo him. But da way Da One In Charge see um, da ting David wen do was wrong. 
