2 Samuel.
3.
Az how da Saul ohana an da David ohana start fo fight each odda long time. David stay come mo an mo strong, an da Saul ohana stay come mo an mo weak. 
Hebron side, get boys born fo David. Numba One, Amnon, his muddah Ahinoam from Jezreel. 
Numba Two, Kileab, his muddah Abigail, Nabal widow from Carmel. Numba Three, Absalom, his muddah Maakah, an her faddah Talmai, da king fo Geshur nea Syria. 
Numba Four, Adonijah, his muddah Haggit. Numba Five, Shefatiah, his muddah Abital. 
Numba Six, Itream, his muddah Eglah, David wife. All dese boys, born fo David Hebron side. 
All da time da Saul ohana stay fight da David ohana, Abner stay take ova da Saul ohana guys mo an moa. 
Had one wahine name Rizpah, Saul odda wife. She Aiah girl. An Ish-Boshet tell Abner, “How come you go fool aroun wit my faddah odda wife?!” 
Abner come real huhu cuz a wat Ish-Boshet tell. So Abner tell, “You tink I one Judah kine dog, o wat?! dat go same side wit da Judah ohana?! I tell you fo real kine: Today I still stay tight wit yoa faddah Saul ohana, yoa uncle guys an Saul frenz. I neva let David find you an grab you. But now, you poin finga me bout dis wahine! 
I like Da One In Charge punish me, Abner, an make mo worse to me even den dat, if I no go David side now! I goin do fo him wat Da One In Charge wen make one strong promise fo do. 
I goin take away da right fo be king from da Saul ohana! I goin give David da right fo sit on top da throne, fo him come da king fo da Israel peopo an da Judah peopo, all da land from Dan to Beer-Sheba!” 
Ish-Boshet, he stay sked a Abner. Az why he no tell notting to Abner. 
Den Abner sen his messenja guys by David fo tell, “Who get da right fo dis land?! Make one deal wit me! Den I goin help you fo bring all da Israel peopo yoa side.” 
David tell, “Az good. I goin make one deal wit you. Ony one ting I goin aks you fo do firs. Da ony way you can come in front me fo make da deal, you gotta bring Michal, Saul girl, wen you come fo see me.” 
Den David sen messenjas by Ish-Boshet, Saul boy, an tell him, “Give me my wife Michal. Fo get engage to her, I wen cut skin one hundred Filisha guys dat I wen kill, an bring back all da cut skins fo pay fo her.” 
So Ish-Boshet sen his guys fo take her away from her husban Paltiel, Laish boy. 
But her husban follow her an cry all da way Bahurim side. Den Abner tell him, “Go back yoa place!” So he go back. 
Anodda ting Abner wen do wit da older leadas fo da Israel peopo. He tell, “From long time awready, you guys like make David come yoa king. 
Kay den, do um! Cuz Da One In Charge, him da One wen tell dis bout David: ‘My worka guy David, he da one I goin use fo get my Israel peopo outa da powa a da Filisha guys an all da odda peopos dat stay agains dem.’” 
An Abner do dis too: he go talk wit plenny Benjamin peopo. Den he go Hebron side fo talk wit David. He like tell um all dat da Israel peopo an all da Benjamin ohana tink az one good ting fo do. 
Wen Abner come by David, Hebron side, he get twenny guys wit him. David make one big luau fo Abner an his guys. 
Den Abner tell David, “I like do someting fo you. I like go right now an bring togedda all da Israel peopo by you, my boss an king, fo dem make one deal wit you. Den you goin come da king ova eryting you like be da king fo.” So David tell Abner fo go do um. Abner go, an he stay shua eryting good wit him an David. 
Right den, Joab come back wit David army guys afta dey attack one place wea da peopo stay agains David, an afta dey take away dea stuffs. Dey bring wit dem plenny stuffs. But Abner no stay inside Hebron wit David no moa, cuz David tell um he can go awready. An wen Abner leave, he stay shua eryting good wit him an David. 
Wen Joab an all da army guys come back, da Hebron peopo tell him dat Abner, Ner boy, wen come by King David, an dat David tell him az good, an dat Abner stay shua eryting good wit him an David. 
So Joab go by king David an tell, “Wassamatta you, aah?! Look! Abner wen come by you. How come you let um go? Now, he gone awready! 
You know wat kine guy Abner, Ner boy. Ony fo bulai you, az why he come hea! an fo find out wea you an yoa army guys stay go, an fo find out eryting you stay do!” 
Den Joab go out from wea David stay, an sen messenja guys fo chase Abner. Dey bring Abner back from da watta place inside Sirah town. But David neva know wat Joab do. 
Wen Abner come back Hebron side, Joab take him inside one small security guard room by da gate. He make jalike he like talk to Abner, jus dem two inside one quiet place. But fo pay back Abner fo kill Joab braddah Asahel, Joab stab Abner in da belly, an he mahke. 
Laytas, David hear wat wen happen. He tell, “Me an my peopo, us no mo da blame fo murda Abner, Ner boy! I tell dis in front Da One In Charge foeva! 
I like fo Joab an all his faddah ohana, get da blame fo dis! I like Joab ohana erytime get somebody wit one sore dat no can heal, o one kine sick all ova da skin dat odda guys can catch, o ony can do wahine kine work, o mahke wit one sword, o no mo food!” 
(Joab an his braddah Abishai, dey murda Abner cuz he wen kill dea braddah Asahel Gibeon side wen dey stay fight, you know.) 
Den David tell Joab an all da army guys wit him, “Rip yoa regula clotheses an wear burmbag kine clotheses, fo show erybody you guys stay sad inside too. Walk in front Abner mahke body.” An King David walk in back a da stretcha dey use fo carry da wrap up body to da cemetery. 
David guys bury Abner Hebron side, an da king cry loud in front Abner tomb. An all da peopo cry too. 
Da king sing dis sad song fo Abner: “Abner wen mahke jalike one criminal. No good, him mahke lidat! 
Abner, nobody tie yoa hands togedda Jalike one criminal. Nobody tie yoa feets wit leg chain Jalike fo go in front da judge. Wen you wen mahke Was jalike da bad guys take you down!” An all da peopo cry plenny one mo time cuz a him. 
Den all da army guys come an try make David eat someting, wen still yet stay day time. But David make one strong promise. He tell, “I like God kill me if I eat bread o some odda ting befo da sun go down.” 
All da army guys see wat David do, an dey tink az good da way dey see um. Fo shua, eryting da king do, look good to dem. 
So from dat day, all da army guys dat stay dea, an all da Israel peopo, dey come shua dat da king no mo da blame fo kill Abner, Ner boy. 
Den da king tell his helpa guys, “You guys know, dat one leada, dass one real importan guy fo us Israel peopo, wen mahke today! 
An today, no matta God wen pick me fo come da king, I no like bus up peopo. But dis Joab an Abishai, Zeruiah boys, dey mo tough den me. I like Da One In Charge do someting bad, fo pay back da one wen do dis bad ting, cuz da guy wen kill Abner.” 
