Luke.
5.
One time Jesus stay on top da beach a Gennesaret Lake, an all da peopo try come close by him fo hear wat God tell. 
He spock two boats ova dea nea da watta. Da guys dat fish jump outa dea boats an stay washing dea nets on da beach. 
Jesus go inside Simon boat, an tell him fo go out litto bit from da beach. Den Jesus sit down an teach da peopo from dea. 
Wen he pau teach, he tell Simon, “Eh Simon, go out wea stay deep an lay yoa nets.” 
Simon tell, “Boss, us guys wen bus ass all nite an ony whitewash. But cuz you tell me fo do um, I goin do um.” 
So dey lay da nets, an dey catch uku pile a fish, an da nets start fo broke. 
Dey make sign fo dea braddahs inside da odda boat fo come help um. Dem guys come an fill up da two boats so full, da boats start fo sink. 
Wen Simon Peter see how plenny fish dey get, he go down on his knees in front Jesus an tell, “Eh, Boss, go way from me, cuz I one guy dat stay do bad kine stuff!” 
Simon an all da guys ova dea by him, blow dea mind, cuz dey catch choke plenny fish. 
James an John, dey Zebedee boys, an dey fishamen dat work togedda wit Simon. Dey blow dea mind too. Jesus tell Simon, “No sked. Jalike you guys fish fo fish, from now you guys goin fish fo peopo!” 
Right den an dea, dey pull dea boats up on top da beach, an leave all dea stuffs ova dea, an go wit Jesus. 
Wen Jesus stay inside one a da towns, one lepa guy come by him. Da guy get da kine sores all ova. Wen he spock Jesus, he go down an put his face on top da groun, an he beg Jesus, “Boss, if you like, you can make me come good, aah?” 
Jesus stick out his hand an touch da guy. Same time Jesus tell, “Shoots, I like fo you come good!” Right den an dea da guy come good. 
Den Jesus tell um, “Make shua you no tell nobody bout dis! Go by da pries guy fo him check you out dat you no mo da lepa kine sick. No foget make da kine sacrifice now, jalike Moses wen tell inside da Rules From God. Gotta do all dat, so erybody goin know you stay good now.” 
But erybody all ova da place hear bout wat Jesus wen do, an plenny peopo come fo lissen him, fo him make dem come good from all dea sick. 
But plenny time Jesus go wea no mo nobody, fo pray ova dea. 
One a da days Jesus stay teach, had Pharisee guys an teachas dat teach da Rules From God stay sit ova dea. Dey come from ery town inside Galilee an Judea, an from Jerusalem. Jesus get powa from Da One In Charge fo make da sick peopo come good. 
Had some guys dat bring one guy on top one mat. Da guy, he no can move, notting. Dey try bring him inside da house fo put him in front Jesus. 
But dey no can find one way fo do um cuz plenny peopo jam inside dea. Az why dey go up on top da flat roof, an make one puka, an let da guy down on top da mat in front Jesus. 
Jesus see dat, an he figga, “Eh, wow! Cuz dese guys trus me fo real kine, I goin make dea fren come good!” Den he tell da guy, “Eh you, you know all da bad kine stuff you wen do? I tell you now, da shame fo all dat, pau awready!” 
Da Pharisee guys an da teachas dat teach da Rules From God, dey stay tink, “Eh, dis guy ack an talk jalike he God! Ony God can let peopo go fo da bad kine stuff dey do an hemo dea shame!” 
But Jesus know wat dey tinking. He tell, “How come you guys tink bad kine stuff lidat? 
I like show proof to you guys, dat I da Fo Real Kine Guy, an I get da right inside dis world fo let peopo go an hemo dea shame fo da bad kine stuff dey wen do. But, easy fo talk bout hemo da shame—anybody can talk dat kine. But not easy fo do um. Same ting, easy fo tell one sick guy dat no can move, ‘Eh, stan up an move aroun!’—anybody can talk dat kine. But not easy fo do um. But now, I goin show proof to you guys—I goin make dis sick guy come strong.” An he tell da guy dat no can move, “Eh, stan up! Pick up yoa mat, an go home awready!” 
Right den an dea da guy stan up in front all dem guys, pick up da mat, an go home, talking good kine stuff bout God. 
All da peopo see wat Jesus wen do an dat blow dea mind. Dey talk good kine stuff bout God too. Same time, dey come real sked. Dey tell, “Dis awesome! Us wen see unreal stuff today!” 
Afta dat Jesus go outside an spock one guy dat colleck tax money fo da govmen. He stay sit down inside his place. His name Levi. Jesus tell him, “Eh, come wit me, an be my guy!” 
So Levi stan up, leave all his stuffs ova dea, an go wit Jesus. 
Den Levi make one big luau fo Jesus inside his house. Plenny guys dat colleck tax money an odda guys eat wit dem. 
But da Pharisee guys an da teachas dat teach da Rules From God an stay tight wit da Pharisee guys, dey grumble at Jesus guys. Dey tell, “Eh, how come you guys stay eat wit da guys dat colleck tax money an odda guys dat get one bad rep?” 
Jesus tell, “Da peopo dat not sick, dey no need docta. Ony da sick peopo need docta. 
I neva come fo tell da good peopo fo come by me, but I tell da peopo dat get one bad rep, fo dem come sorry fo all da bad kine stuff dey wen do, an no do um no moa.” 
Den da Pharisee guys an dea frenz tell, “Plenny times, da guys dat John Da Baptiza guy teach, dey skip food wen dey pray. An da guys dat da Pharisee guys teach, dey skip food wen dey pray too. But da guys you stay teach, dey stay eat an drink. How come, aah?” 
Jesus tell, “Wat you tink? You can make da guys at one wedding skip food wen dea fren dat getting married stay dea wit dem? No can! 
But you know, bumbye da time goin come wen peopo goin take away dea fren. Den his frenz goin come bum out, an az why dey goin skip food!” 
He tell um anodda ting fo teach um. “Fo cova one puka on one ol clothes, you no goin cut one piece from one new clothes, fo put on top da ol clothes. You do dat, you goin jam up da new clothes, an da new piece no goin match da ol clothes. 
An you no goin put grape juice fo make wine inside one ol wineskin. You do dat, wen da grape juice come wine, goin bus da ol wineskin. You goin lose da wine an da skin too. Eryting come poho! 
Mo betta, you put new wine inside one new wineskin. 
Nobody like drink da new kine wine afta he drink da ol one, cuz he tell, ‘Da ol wine mo betta.’” 
