John.
19.
Den Govna Pilate tell his guys fo take Jesus an cut him up wit da whip. 
Da army guys twis togedda big kine thorn branches fo make one crown, an dey put um on top his head. Den dey put one purple kine robe on top him. 
An dey come in front him, an tell, “Eh! King fo da Jews!” An dey slap his head. 
Den Pilate go outside one mo time, an tell erybody, “Eh, look! I goin bring him outside fo you guys, fo you guys know dat I no find notting bad he do dat I gotta punish him.” 
Jesus come outside wit da crown a thorns on top his head an da purple robe. Den Pilate tell da peopo, “Look, da guy!” 
Wen da Main Pries guys an da police guys see Jesus, dey make big noise, an dey yell, “Kill da buggah on top one cross! Kill da buggah on top one cross!” Pilate tell, “You guys take him an kill um on top one cross! I no find notting bad he wen do dat I gotta punish him.” 
Da Jews tell Pilate, “Us guys get Rules from God, an da Rules tell dis guy gotta mahke, cuz he talk like he God Boy.” 
Wen Govna Pilate hear wat dey tell, he come mo sked. 
He go back inside da army headquarters an aks Jesus, “Eh, you! Wea you come from?” But Jesus no tell notting. 
Den Pilate tell him, “You no like talk to me, o wat? Eh, you donno dat I get da right fo make dem kill you on top one cross, an I get da right fo let you go?” 
Jesus tell, “Ony one way you get da right fo hurt me. Ony if God Up Dea Inside Da Sky give you da powa fo do all dis, den you can do dis. Dass why da guy dat wen turn me ova to you, he do mo worse ting den you.” 
From dat time, Pilate try fo let him go. But da Jews make big noise an yell, “If you let dis guy go, you not King Cesar fren. If anybody like come one king, he agains King Cesar.” 
Az why, wen Pilate hear da tings dey tell, he bring Jesus outside, an he sit down on top da judge chair by da place dey call “Stone Pavemen Square,” an da Jews call um “Gabbata.” 
Was da Day fo Make Ready fo da Passova. Bout noon time, Pilate tell da Jews, “Look, yoa king!” 
But dey make big noise an yell, “Hang um up! Hang um up! Kill da buggah on top one cross!” Pilate tell um, “Wot! You like me kill yoa king?!” Da Main Pries guys tell, “Us guys, we no mo anodda king, ony King Cesar!” 
Den Pilate turn ova Jesus fo da army guys kill um on top one cross. So da army guys take charge a Jesus. 
He carry da cross dey goin use fo kill um outside da town, da place dey call “Da Skull Place,” an da Jews call um “Golgota,” dea language. 
Ova dea dey nail Jesus to da cross. Same ting fo two odda guys, one on top one cross on da lef side, da odda one on top anodda cross on da right side, an Jesus in da middo. 
Anodda ting: Pilate tell da army guys fo make one sign an put um on top da cross. Da sign tell, Jesus From Nazaret Da King Fo Da Jews 
Dis sign, plenny Jews read um, cuz da place dey kill him stay nea Jerusalem town. Da army guys write da sign in three language: Hebrew, Greek, an Latin. 
Da Jew Main Pries guys tell Pilate, “Eh, no write, ‘Da King fo da Jews’! Mo betta write, ‘Dis guy tell, I da king fo da Jews’.” 
Pilate tell um, “I wen tell my guys wat fo write, an dass how goin stay!” 
Da army guys, afta dey nail Jesus to da cross, dey take his clotheses an make four pile. Was one pile fo ery army guy. Had his robe too, dat neva have seam, cuz dey weave um from da top an all ova. 
So dey tell, “Mo betta no broke up da robe. We go throw da dice fo um, aah? Fo find out who goin get um.” Dat was fo make happen jalike da Bible tell from befo time: “Dey split my clotheses. An my robe, dey throw da dice fo um.” So dass wat da army guys do. 
Had Jesus muddah standing by da cross wit her sistah, an Mary, Clopas wife, an Mary from Magdala. 
Jesus see his muddah standing dea, wit one guy he teach, da one he get plenny love an aloha fo. (Dass was me, John, you know.) So Jesus tell his muddah, “Look, Ma, dis yoa boy now.” 
Den Jesus tell me, “Eh! Make her jalike yoa muddah now.” An I take her to my place from dat time. 
Afta dat, Jesus know dat he awready do eryting he suppose to do. Den fo make happen eryting da Bible tell befo time, he tell, “I thirsty!” 
Had one jug full a cheap wine ova dea. Dey fill up one sponge wit da wine, put um on top one oregano branch, an put um up to his mout. 
Wen Jesus taste da cheap wine he tell, “Eryting pau awready!” An he bend down his head, an den let go his spirit. 
Was da Day Fo Make Eryting Ready Fo Da Passova. Da Jews neva like fo da mahke bodies fo stay on top da cross on da Res Day. Dat Res Day stay real spesho, so da leada guys go beg Pilate fo broke da guys legs fo kill um mo quick fo take down da bodies. 
Da army guys go dea. Da two guys dey kill on top da odda crosses same time wit Jesus, dey broke da firs guy legs, an den da odda guy legs. 
But wen dey go by Jesus, dey see dat he mahke awready, so dey neva broke his legs. 
But one army guy stab him wit his spear on da side, an blood an watta come out. 
(You know, one a da guys dat see all dat happen, dass me. I tell da tings I wen see, an I tell da trut. I know I stay tell da true kine stuff, fo you guys trus wat I tell.) 
All dis happen jalike da Bible tell befo time, “Not even one bone goin get broke.” 
An da Bible tell anodda ting, “Dey goin look at him, da guy dey wen stab.” 
Had one guy Joseph from Arimatea town. He like learn plenny from Jesus, but he neva tell nobody, cuz he sked a da Jew leada guys. He go tell Pilate he like take Jesus body, an Pilate tell “Shoots.” So he go ova dea an take away Jesus body. 
Nicodemus, he go wit Joseph too. He da guy dat befo time go by Jesus nite time fo talk wit him. He bring aloe an myrrh, all mix up, bout hundred poun, fo put on top Jesus body befo dey bury him. 
Dey take Jesus body an wrap um up inside linen kine cloth wit da aloe an myrrh inside, cuz dass how da Jews bury da mahke guys. 
Da place dey kill Jesus, get one garden wit trees, an one new place fo bury dat da owna guy jus pau dig outa one cave, an dey neva put nobody inside dea yet. 
Dass wea dey put Jesus, cuz was da Day da Jews Make Ready fo da Passova, an dat place stay nea. 
