1 Kings.
2.
Wen almos time fo David mahke, he tell his boy Solomon wat fo do. He tell: 
“You know, erybody inside dis world gotta mahke. An me, I goin mahke pretty soon. So you gotta be strong an show you no sked notting. 
Do wateva yoa God, dass Da One In Charge, tell you gotta do um. Live da way he tell you fo live. Wateva job God give you, you betta do um. He da Judge, so wen he tell you fo do someting, do um. Eryting God teach, dat Moses wen write inside da Rules, do um. Den, no matta wat you do, an wea you go, eryting goin come out good fo you. 
Wen you do all dat, den Da One In Charge goin make happen wat he tell bout me befo time, ‘Da king guys dat come born from yoa blood bumbye, dey gotta watch out how dey ack cuz I goin see how dey ack. If dey go all out fo do eryting wit one good heart, an wit eryting dey get inside, I know I can trus dem. Den me, Da One In Charge, I no goin wipe out yoa blood line eva. Erytime goin get one guy dat come from yoa blood line, dat goin be da King fo sit on top da throne fo da Israel peopo.’ Dass wat Da One In Charge wen tell bout me. 
“One mo ting. You know wat Joab, my sistah Zeruiah boy, wen do to me. He wen go kill da two guys dat was da generals fo da Israel army, Abner, az Ner boy, an Amasa, Jeter boy. Joab wen do dat afta all da fighting pau. An he ack jalike still get war. So now, jalike get blood all ova his army clothes an stuff an all ova his army boots. 
You know wat fo do erytime, so go do wateva you gotta do. But no matta Joab come ol an get white hair, wen he mahke, no let him mahke an go down to da Mahke Peopo Place easy kine, jalike he neva do notting bad! 
“Stay tight wit da Barzillai guys from Gilead side. Bring dem fo eat wit you at yoa table, fo you take kea dem. Cuz you know, dey da guys dat wen stay tight wit me an bring me food, da time I wen run away from yoa braddah Absalom. 
“An no foget, you get wit you dis guy Shimei, Gera boy, from da Benjamin ohana Bahurim side. Da buggah wen put kahuna on top me fo hurt me plenny, da time I go Mahanaim. Laytas, Shimei wen come down to da Jordan Riva fo talk to me, an I wen make one strong promise to him. I wen aks Da One In Charge fo help me do wat I wen promise fo do. I tell Shimei, ‘I no goin kill you wit my sword.’ 
But now, no need ack jalike da guy neva do notting bad. You one guy dat know wat fo do erytime, so you know wat fo do bout Shimei. He stay ol an get white hair, but make um bleed befo you sen him down to da Mahke Peopo Place!” 
Den David mahke an go by his ancesta guys. Da peopo bury him inside Jerusalem, da part dat get da name “David Town.” 
All da time dat David was da King fo da Israel peopo, was forty year. Firs part, he live Hebron town seven year, an den Jerusalem town, 33 year. 
Den King Solomon take ova from his faddah David, an sit on top da same throne. An erybody know, dat Solomon da King fo real kine. 
Laytas, Solomon half braddah Adonijah go by Solomon muddah Batsheba (Adonijah muddah, Haggit). Batsheba aks Adonijah, “You come hea fo make trouble, o eryting good?!” Adonijah tell, “Eryting good.” 
Den Adonijah tell Batsheba, “I like tell you someting.” She tell, “Kay, shoots.” 
Adonijah tell: “You know, was me suppose to come da King. All da Israel peopo wen tink me da one fo be dea leada. But da whole ting wen turn aroun, an now my braddah come da King, cuz Da One In Charge wen give him da right, not me. 
An now, I like aks you fo do one ting fo me. No tell me no.” Batsheba tell um, “Tell me.” 
So Adonijah tell, “Go talk to King Solomon, cuz he no goin tell you no. Aks him fo give me Abishag da Shunam wahine fo come my wife.” 
Batsheba tell him, “Kay den, I go talk to da King fo you.” 
So Batsheba go by King Solomon, fo talk to him fo Adonijah. Wen she come inside, da King stan up fo tell her aloha, den he go down in front her. He sit down on top his throne, an he tell his helpa guys fo bring anodda throne cuz she da King Muddah. She sit down dea, da right side by King Solomon, fo show erybody she importan. 
She tell, “I get one small ting I like aks you fo do. Can do um fo me, o wat?” Da king tell, “Eh, you my muddah. Aks me, cuz I no goin tell you no.” 
Batsheba tell, “Go let yoa braddah Adonijah marry Abishag da Shunam wahine.” 
King Solomon tell his muddah, “Wot! How come you aks me fo let Abishag da Shunam wahine marry Adonijah?! Jalike you stay aks me fo make him da King! Cuz he my older braddah. O same ting jalike you aks me fo make Abiatar da Main Pries, an Joab Zeruiah boy da main army guy!” 
Den King Solomon make one strong promise to Da One In Charge. He tell, “If I no go do wat I tell now, I like God kill me, o do mo worse tings! Dis Adonijah guy goin mahke, cuz he tell you fo come tell me dat! 
Fo shua Da One In Charge stay alive, an he da One make me strong, an make me sit down on top da same throne jalike my faddah David. An I stay shua dat he wen make me one promise dat da Kings fo da Israel peopo goin come from my blood. An cuz I stay shua bout all dat, I know, Adonijah goin mahke today!” 
So King Solomon sen Benaiah, Jehoiada boy, fo kill Adonijah, an dass how Adonijah mahke. 
Da King tell Abiatar da pries guy, “Go back Anatot side, wea you get land. You suppose to mahke. But I no goin kill you today, cuz you wen help carry da Box Fo No Foget Da Deal Wit Da One In Charge a me, in front my faddah David, an cuz you wen suffa all da time my faddah wen suffa.” 
Den Solomon throw out Abiatar, an no let um be one pries fo Da One In Charge. All dis wen happen jalike wat Da One In Charge wen tell befo time bout da pries guys from da Eli ohana, Shiloh side. 
Joab wen hear wat wen happen. (Befo time, Joab wen push Adonijah fo come King, but he neva push Absalom.) Joab run to da Tent Fo No Foget Da Deal Wit Da One In Charge, an he grab da tings jalike horns dat stick out from da four corna a da altar. 
Somebody tell King Solomon, “Joab wen run to da Tent Fo No Foget Da Deal Wit Da One In Charge. Now he stay by da altar fo nobody go kill him!” Den Solomon tell Benaiah, Jehoiada boy, fo go ova dea. Solomon tell um, “Go. Wipe out Joab.” 
So Benaiah go da Tent Fo Meet Wit Da One In Charge, an he tell Joab, “Da King tell, come outside.” But Joab tell, “No. I go mahke right hea.” Benaiah go back by da King an tell um wat Joab wen tell him. 
Da King tell Benaiah, “Go kill Joab, jalike he tell, an bury him, so dat me an my faddah peopo no goin get da blame. Cuz Joab wen make plenny peopo bleed an mahke, fo no reason. 
Cuz Joab wen make peopo bleed an mahke, now Da One In Charge pay back Joab. Joab wen go attack an kill two guys, an my faddah neva know wat Joab do till afta. One guy Abner, Ner boy, da general fo da Israel army, an da odda, Amasa, Jeter boy, da general fo da Judah army. Dey mo betta guys den Joab, an dey stay do da right ting mo den Joab. 
Dese two guys mahke, an Joab get da blame fo dat, an erybody dat come from him, get da blame too. But fo David an da peopo dat come from him, an his ohana, an fo da kings dat goin come from David, Da One In Charge goin make eryting come good fo dem, foeva.” 
So Benaiah, Jehoiada boy, go up dea an attack Joab an kill um. Da peopo bury Joab by his house, nea da boonies. 
Den da King wen make Benaiah, Jehoiada boy, da general in charge a da army afta Joab. Da king make Zadok da Main Pries Guy afta Abiatar too. 
Den da King sen one guy fo tell Shimei fo come by him. Da King tell Shimei, “Go build one house fo you ova hea inside Jerusalem. But no go outside Jerusalem fo go anodda place. 
Dis da deal: If you go out an go cross da Kidron Stream, you know fo shua dat da same day, you goin mahke, an ony you goin get da blame fo dat.” 
Shimei tell da King, “I goin live jalike how you tell. You da King, an you my boss, an I yoa worka guy, an dass wat I goin do.” Shimei wen stay inside Jerusalem town long time. 
But afta three year, two guys dat was slaves fo Shimei run away. Dey go Gat side, by King Akish, Maakah boy. Somebody tell Shimei, “Yoa slave guys, dey stay Gat side.” 
So Shimei saddle his donkey an get ready fo go. He go Gat side by King Akish, fo look fo his slaves. Den he bring um back from Gat. 
Somebody tell King Solomon dat Shimei wen go outside Jerusalem to Gat, an now he come back. 
Da King sen somebody fo tell Shimei fo come by him. King Solomon tell Shimei, “Wassup?! I wen make you make one strong promise in front Da One In Charge, an I wen tell you, ‘Fo shua, I goin do wat I tell you. If you go outside Jerusalem town, no matta wat place you go, da same day, you goin mahke.’ “An you wen tell me, ‘I goin live jalike how you tell. I do um.’ 
You wen make one strong promise to Da One In Charge. How come you no do wat you wen promise fo do, aah? I wen tell you wat you gotta do. How come you no lissen wat I tell, aah?” 
Da King tell Shimei dis too: “Inside, you know all da bad kine stuff you wen do to my faddah King David. Now, Da One In Charge stay bring all dat bad stuff back to you. 
But Da One In Charge goin do good tings fo me, King Solomon. Fo shua, kings from David blood goin sit on top King David throne in front Da One In Charge, foeva.” 
Den da King tell Benaiah, Jehoiada boy, go wack Shimei an kill um. Dass how erybody come shua dat Solomon stay da King fo real kine. 
