8
1 Da guy Saul stay dea, an he tink dass good dey kill Stephen.
Saul Make Jesus Guys Suffa
Dat same day Saul guys start fo make all da peopo suffa plenny dat come togedda fo church Jerusalem side. So all da peopo dat trus da Good Stuff From God scatta all ova Judea an Samaria. But da twelve guys Jesus wen sen all ova no go way yet. 2 Some guys dat trus God an do wat he tell bury Stephen, an dey stay sad an cry hard cuz he mahke.
3 ✡But da guy Saul start fo wipe out da peopo dat come togedda fo church. He go inside all da houses, an he drag out da guys an da wahines, an throw dem in jail.
Philip Teach Da Good Stuff Samaria Side
4 Jesus guys dat go all ova teach wat God tell inside all da place dey go. 5 Philip go one big town inside Samaria, an teach da peopo ova dea bout da Spesho Guy God Wen Sen. 6 All da peopo dea hear Philip, an dey see all da awesome stuff he do dat show wat kine guy him, so den dey lissen real good to da stuff he tell. 7 Plenny bad kine spirits make big noise an den no bodda plenny peopo no moa. Plenny peopo dat no can move an no can walk come good. 8 So erybody inside dat town come real, real good inside.
Simon Da Kahuna Guy
9 Had one kahuna guy Simon dea. All da Samaria peopo, wen blow dea mind cuz a him. He tell “I da Man!” 10 All da big guys an da odda peopo lissen him real good an tell, “Dis guy, he da guy dey call ‘Da Big Powa From God.’ ” 11 Dey stay tight wit him cuz he stay blow dea mind long time, cuz he do kahuna kine stuff. 12 But Philip teach da peopo dea da Good Stuff bout how peopo get God fo dea king, an dat Jesus, he da Spesho Guy God Wen Sen. So da guys an da wahines trus wat Philip tell, an he baptize dem. 13 Simon, he trus Jesus too, an Philip baptize him. An Simon stay tight wit Philip all da place he go. Philip do all kine awesome stuff dat show da powa he get, an dat blow Simon mind.
14 Da guys Jesus wen sen all ova, dey stay Jerusalem side. Dey hear dat da peopo Samaria side trus wat God tell. So dey sen Peter an John ova dea by dem. 15 Wen Peter an John come, dey pray fo da peopo fo dem get da Good An Spesho Spirit. 16 Cuz da Good An Spesho Spirit neva take charge a da peopo dea yet. Dey wen get baptize fo Jesus cuz dey ony know bout him. 17 Den Peter an John put dea hands on top erybody, an den da Good An Spesho Spirit take charge a dem.
18 Simon see dat da Good An Spesho Spirit take charge a da peopo wen da guys Jesus wen sen all ova put dea hands on top dem. He try give Peter an John money, an he tell, 19 “Try give me da powa too, wen I put my hands on top da peopos, da Good An Spesho Spirit take charge a dem.”
20 Peter tell him, “You an yoa money goin mahke togedda! Cuz you tink dat you can buy wass one gif from God wit yoa money! 21 You no can work fo God wit us cuz God see dat you no stay right wit him inside. 22 You betta come sorry cuz dis one real bad ting you like do. You gotta aks Da One In Charge fo help you no do da bad kine stuff no moa! 23 Cuz I know you stay real jealous an piss off bout eryting, an you like do all da time da kine stuff dat no stay right.”
24 Den Simon tell Peter an John, “You can pray to Da One In Charge fo me, o wat? Fo all dis stuff dat you tell no happen to me?”
25 Den Peter an John tell da peopo wat God do fo dem, an dey teach wat God tell. Den wen dey go back Jerusalem side, dey teach da Good Stuff From God inside plenny small towns Samaria side.
Philip An Da Guy From Etiopia
(Isaiah 53:7-8)
26 One angel guy from Da One In Charge tell Philip, “Go south to da road inside da boonies dat go from Jerusalem to Gaza.” 27 So Philip go, an he come by one govmen guy from Etiopia. He one real importan guy dat stay in charge a all da money fo Queen Candace from Etiopia side. Dis Etiopia guy go Jerusalem fo go down an pray to God. 28 An now he stay go home, an he stay sit inside his wagon. He read da book dat Isaiah write, da guy dat talk fo God befo time. 29 Da Good An Spesho Spirit tell Philip, “Go by dat wagon an stay nea him.” 30 Philip run ova dea, an hear da guy stay read Isaiah book. Philip aks da guy, “You undastan wat you stay read, o wat?”
31 Da Etiopia guy tell, “I no can undastan um if nobody tell me wat dis mean.” Den he tell Philip fo climb inside da wagon an sit down by him. 32 ✡Da place inside da Bible wea he read tell,
“Dey take him away
Jalike dey take one sheep away fo kill um.
He jalike one bebe sheep
Dat no make noise
Wen dey stay cut off his wool.
He neva tell notting.
33 Dey wen make him come shame,
An dey neva do da right kine ting fo him.
Nobody can talk bout his ohana dat come afta him,
Cuz his life pau
Inside dis world.”
34 Da guy tell Philip, “Try tell me who Isaiah stay talk bout. He stay talk bout him o anodda guy?” 35 Den Philip teach um. He start in dat place wea da guy stay read inside da Bible, an tell um da Good Stuff Bout Jesus. 36 Den dey go down da road litto mo, an dey come by some watta. An da guy tell, “Look ova dea! Get watta. You can baptize me ova dea, o wat?”
37 [Philip tell um, “I can baptize you if you trus God fo real kine.”
Da guy tell, “I trus Jesus, he da Spesho Guy God Wen Sen. He God Boy.”] 38 Da guy tell his worka guy fo stop da wagon ova dea. Den Philip an da guy go down inside da watta an Philip baptize um. 39 Wen dey come outa da watta, right den an dea da Good An Spesho Spirit a Da One In Charge take Philip away. Da govmen guy neva see Philip no moa, but he go an he feel real good inside. 40 Den Philip show up Azotus side, an he go all da towns fo teach da Good Stuff From God. An den he go Cesarea side.
✡ 8:3 8:3: JGuys 22:4-5; 26:9-11 ✡ 8:32 8:32: Isa 53:7-8